Word Count: 321
Note: Spoilers for On the Head of a Pin. A little character study of Castiel.
Prompt for a_muse_meme:
When I raise my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold on judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who haze me. Oh, Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints.-Il Duce
He had never been one of the generals or even one of the captains of God’s armies. He’d been a minor member of the garrison of angels. Castiel never imagined being in the position he was now. In fact before a cosmic joke placed Dean Winchester’s soul in his hands, he’d never imagined at all. No emotions, no concerns, just devotion to duty and to the Lord.
The archangels, like Uriel and Gabriel, they were god’s messengers. They were leaders in the holy wars against the Morningstar and the demons who tried to corrupt God’s chosen ones. Uriel betrayed them. Castiel still couldn’t believe it. How one of the great warriors of God could doubt His word was beyond that slowly blossoming imagination.
Dean was humbled by the knowledge that he’d broken the First Seal. All of the Heavenly Host had fought their way to Hell to stop him from starting of the apocalypse, but they’d failed. The Seal was broken, and now so was Dean’s spirit. The boy, for all his righteous anger, was as torn apart as the Seal.
His brother was lost to him as well, and Castiel was still terrified of the power he’d seen Sam Winchester unleash on Alistair when he’d destroyed the demon who had shattered Dean’s body and spirit. Sam had fallen to the darkness, and Castiel knew he needed to be stopped. He prayed that God wouldn’t require Dean to kill his brother. Not because he didn’t think the older Winchester brother could to it, but because he knew that would be the end of Dean as well.
Caring for Dean disturbed him. Castiel could feel himself sliding down the slope that Anna had. He wanted to flap his wings and fly home before he became one of the Fallen. But he couldn’t leave Dean. He’d pulled him from Hell, and after months of watching him, he knew he couldn’t fly away. Dean needed him, and he was starting to believe that he needed Dean too.
Castiel was a soldier. He’d never had to make decisions for himself, and now he was caught in a storm he didn’t know how to fly through. Uriel said he’d only killed those of their brethren who wouldn’t turn against God. Which ones were they, and how soon would they be coming after Dean as well? He’d begged Anna to tell him what to do, and now he was forced to make his own choices.
Fear at least wasn’t a new emotion. He’d felt that one before.